Grief · Life · Uncategorized

Exactly What I Needed

This weekend was exactly what I needed. I started January 1st with the phrase “highest potential.”  That is my 2016 resolution. To strive for my highest potential. I love this quote I read recently from Oprah Winfrey:

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe. ” So true. So difficult to do. This is what I am working this year to do. Create my vision.

After I had Bryce I became an extension of him. His needs were my needs, and his schedule was my schedule. I got lost in the exhaustion and work of baby. I thought it would get better when he turned one. But it didn’t. And then my mom died in July.  Oh did I bury the grief. I just couldn’t deal with it. Too much pain. And this fall I paid for it. Summer turned to fall, and I realized I was lost. Lost as a mom, lost as a wife, lost as a worker. And tired. So so so tired. My health had taken a major nosedive when I became a mother. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was getting sick all the time. My weight was creeping up. I was getting tired just going up the stairs. I excused it with I was a new mother and just didn’t have time.  But my baby is now a toddler. I was running out of excuses. And eventually I would have to deal with my emotions from mom’s death.

This weekend I had a come to reality check. I became honest with myself. Which we all know is about as easy as watching money grow on trees. Why is change so hard? Why is seeing yourself honestly so scary?

Basically I have decided that I have got to put myself first. Take care of my health, take care of my relationships. But most importantly create my “vision.” So I started working out this weekend. Gave up sugar (so hard!!) and I am committing to reaching my goals. There is many more checks on my list but you get the gist.

It is time to hustle.

I recently bought this oil blend from Young Living called Highest Potential.  It is designed to increase your capacity to achieve your dreams.  I put it on my wrists everyday as I head out the door and it really is helping my mood.

highestpotential-600x600

Ingredients:

Australian Blue  (which is another YL blend) is stabilizing and inspiring.

Gathering (another  YL blend) helps with overcoming mis-guided energy that takes us away from our focus.

Jasmine essential oil is uplifting and helps with feelings of lost hope and anxiousness.

Ylang Ylang essential oil is extremely balancing to your energies. May help restore confidence.

I know I have my work cut out for me. Saying I will do something and actually doing it are two separate things. But I also know I cannot continue as I am. So my exactly what I needed this weekend was a reality check. Let’s keep the momentum going.

 

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